It’s a common question for me to hear whenever someone finds out I have two sons.
“So, are you trying for a girl?”
It doesn’t matter how many times I hear it, I am always floored by the question. And I am not alone. Just recently, a friend of mine who has four sons tagged me in a Facebook ad for a tee shirt that reads “Boymom: And no. I am not trying for a girl.” The question is so prevalent, you can buy a tee shirt so you don’t have to respond anymore!
Whenever someone asks me if I am trying for a girl, it never ceases to aggravate me. It’s as if that person is insinuating that my life as a mother is not complete unless I have a little mini-me running around who lacks a Y chromosome. Like there is a huge gap in my life because I don’t have anyone to share girly things with, like shopping for prom and wedding dresses. Do moms of all girls get the same question about whether they are trying for a boy? Why do people feel they have a right to ask these types of questions? When someone shows you their new car, no one feels the need to say, “I love your new Hyundai. Are you still trying for the Mercedes?”
Guess what? I LOVE my “sans daughter” life and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I don’t need someone to share girly things with and I don’t need the pressure of paying for a prom dress. I love that I talk about no huddle offenses and debate with my sons about whether Tom Brady is the GOAT (Greatest of All Time). I don’t need a daughter to have a kid who’s a mini-me. My mini-me already exists in my eldest son (poor kid).
Don’t get me wrong, if I had given birth to a daughter, it would have been a great thing and I would have embraced being a “girlmom” just as I have embraced being a “boymom”. But, to insinuate that my life is not as great because I didn’t is rude and, well, just plain wrong.